Always Alone
by Lia-chan
Summary: Romance fic, starring my favorite couple. Read and review!
1. Always Alone - Chapter 1 of 3

Ranma sighed. The moon was bright, the snow was glittering as the soft light bounced off of it, and Akane was mad at him again. Why did these things never go right for him? All he had tried to do was ask her if she wanted to go out to eat before her big skating competition, and where had he ended up? Boxed in, labeled, and shipped out.  
  
*****FLASHBACK*****  
  
"Hey, Akane?" Ranma stood in her open doorway, fidgeting nervously. Akane looked up from her homework with a smile on her face.  
  
"Yeah, Ranma?"  
  
Ranma tried to lounge casually, but he only succeeded in looking more nervous than before. "I was wonderin' . . . . umm . . . do you wanna . . . ." Ranma tried to force the words up, but they didn't want to come. He cleared his throat and tried again, but nothing came out. He looked down at the floor and blushed, and just stood there for a moment or two, trying to figure out how to get out of this situation when Akane's voice permeated the silence.  
  
"You mean . . . . you want to . . . . I can't believe this! How could you even ask me that?" Akane began glowing, and advanced toward him menacingly, as he slowly backed away from her, and found himself in a corner with no place to run or hide.  
  
Boxed in.  
  
"How could you? This skating competition is one of the most important events for me, one of the few things I'm GOOD at, and then you have to . . .to . . . spoil the whole thing by asking a question like that? How could you even think-I mean, it's YOU, and I'd never. EVER. You, Ranma Saotome, are a total, utter, complete PERVERT!"  
  
Labeled.  
  
"I . . . . . I can't even say anything else to you, Ranma! I . . . ." Akane's blue aura phased into a red one, and then she pulled out her mallet and smashed it into him, causing Ranma to fly through the roof and to some unknown destination, most of which are at least a mile away from the Tendo residence.  
  
Shipped out.  
  
*****END FLASHBACK*****  
  
Ranma sighed and looked down at the lake. How could he ever have even thought Akane would even consider going out to dinner with him? Akane had obviously hated him from the moment she had laid eyes on him . . . no wait, that wasn't right. She had hated him as soon as she had found out that he was really a guy. And all he had wanted was a . . . frie-no, best not even think the word.  
  
'I thought Ukyo was my friend, and now she wants to marry me. I thought Ryoga was my friend, and now he wants to kill me. The more "friends" I have, the worse my life seems to get. I guess . . . . I guess I'm just destined to go on alone. Guys aren't supposed to need friends.' A little voice from the back of his mind seemed to interject, and Ranma tried to ignore it. 'Girls can have friends.'  
  
Ranma got off the bridge and jumped onto the fence, and began walking back to the Tendo Dojo, the place he now thought of as home.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He went upstairs to the furo, but didn't go in once he realized the occupied sign was hung on the door. He instead turned around and went into his room, closing and locking the door behind him. He pulled up one of the floorboards, one of the few things around the house that never seemed to get demolished (unlike the ceilings and walls), and pulled out a little book, full of writing. He pulled out a pen and paged through to about three-fourths of the way through the little book, all the pages before being filled with writing. He dated the top and began to write.  
  
Akane got mad at me again today. I'm not sure why . . . ok, that's a lie. She said it was because I was a pervert. I don't think I was. All I wanted to do was ask her out to dinner, but she got mad and said I was a pervert and booted me out. I ended up somewhere over by Furinkan. When I was there I got to thinkin. She's hated me ever since she found out I was a guy. When I was a girl, though . . . . when I was a girl, she smiled at me and asked if I wanted to be friends. I wanted a friend so bad then. I still do. All the friends . . . the two friends I made while I was a guy want to marry me or kill me. And the one that wants to marry me wanted to kill me before. But I haven't made any friends as a girl yet. And all the guys at school have people they hang with, but they don't wanna be any kinda friend with me, that's for damn sure. They want to be me, and try to score with all these damned girls I have hanging all over me. But they don't want my friendship. They don't want to hear about my problems or my life, least of all become involved in it. But the girls . . . they talk to each other. They sleep over at each other's houses at night, and gossip about what they do and who they like. They bond, and they can . . . well, show emotion. I'm not supposed to want to do that sorta thing, but I do. They can cry and laugh and be silly. They can be angry and feel bad about it after. They can do all the things I'm not supposed to. I wish I could. I want to have that kind of friendship with somebody. I did with Ucchan, before she wanted to marry me and I found out she was a girl. I sure didn't with Ryoga.  
  
I want to be friends with Akane. Truth be told, I wanna be somethin more. I love her. I wanna be her husband, but she hates me. She loathes me. She utterly and completely despises me. So, after putting all these words down, writing down what I wanted to say and how I feel, but having no one to tell it to, my question to myself is this.  
  
Would Akane be my friend if I was a girl?  
  
Ranma put down the pen, and sighed. If only he could get advice from someone, anyone. But he couldn't. He no one he could trust. No advisors, . . . . no friends. He paused for another half second before making his decision. The last thought alone made up his mind. If he wanted Akane as a friend, if he wanted ANYONE for a friend, then he might as well try being a girl. Kami knows nothing else had worked . . . . .  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As Akane came down for breakfast she was startled to see Ranma already a girl, sitting and eating without even bothering to get up to get some hot water. The rest of the family was leaving the table, having all already eaten. Ranma turned and looked at her as she came down the stairs noisily, his face looking somewhat tense, but Akane being herself, missed it.  
  
"Why are you a girl? Is that hot-water heater broken, or is somebody in the furo?" Ranma shook her head.  
  
"Neither." Ranma finished her breakfast and stood up. "I'll meet you outside in the Dojo, okay Akane?"  
  
Akane shook her head to clear it, dumbfounded. "Uhh . . . ok, Ranma."  
  
As Ranma stepped out the door, she turned around and looked at Akane with . . . something . . . in her eyes.  
  
"Akane . . . . it's Ranko now." And with that she walked off. 


	2. Always Alone - Chapter 2 of 3

Akane stood there for a moment, in total shock. 'He's . . . She's . . . Ran . . . ko? What?'  
  
"Ranma! Wait up!" She ran after her, into the Dojo, where Ranma stood practicing a kata. Akane had never seen this kata before. It was almost like a dance. . . . thrust, kick, kick, spin, jump, punch, kick, spin, spin, thrust, kick, spin, kick, jump, spin, spin, punch, punch, thrust, thrust . . . . the pattern continued over and over again, and Akane was mesmerized as it became more complex and went faster and faster, adding more spins and double combinations. Akane had no idea how long she stood there. But she knew that she was there for a while, and watched until all of a sudden Ranma came to a stop, her body still staying in perfect balance. Ranma turned and looked at Akane calmly.  
  
"Hey, Akane."  
  
At the mild statement, Akane suddenly forgot her awe of his . . . err, her kata, and remembered all of her earlier anger as it came back in a rush.  
  
"What do you mean by 'It's Ranko now'? Tell me!" Akane stood with her hands on her hips and glared, and Ranma just stood there, sighed, and sat down, motioning for Akane to do the same.  
  
"Akane, this is gonna take a while."  
  
"Why is it gonna take a while?! Just tell me and be done with it!"  
  
Ranma sighed again. "It's a little more . . . .complicated than that. If I just make it simple, you won't understand it anyway, so I'd like to explain it all to you. Is that okay?" Ranma sighed a third time. 'If I just tell her that I wanna be friends, she'll get even more mad at me. So I guess I'll tell her everything, and . . . . hope for the best.'  
  
Akane sat down with a huff, and waited for an explanation. Ranma sighed one more time and looked at her, then began talking.  
  
"When I'm a guy, I'm Ranma Saotome. I have 3 official fiancées, one nonofficial one, a fear of cats, no mother, a father who doesn't care, and not a person on earth who trusts me. I'm someone that lots of people hate, some people love, but nobody likes. I'm not allowed to cry, or to be sad, or to be giddy or happy or be sorry. I'm a martial artist without a family, and a martial artist without love. I'm a martial artist without friends. I'm completely alone, with no one who cares. But when I'm a girl . . . . well, for the people who know I'm really a guy, I'm Ranma Saotome, the freak who changes gender. But the people who don't . . . . I'm just Ranko, the redhead who can be happy, and can cry, and can do martial arts. I have one admiring freak, but I don't have 3 fiancées. I'm just . . . a girl. But I still don't have a family. Or friends. But my life as a girl is so much less complicated. I'm . . . ." Ranma took a deep breath and continued on. "I'm happier with my life as a girl. So I think that I'm going to stay this way. But before I complicate your life, and mine, any further, I want to know one thing." Ranma stood up, took another deep breath, and offered Akane a hand.  
  
"Hi, I'm Ranko, wanna be friends?"  
  
END CH. 2 of 3  
  
Ok, I know this chapter is woefully short. I'm already halfway through the next (and last) chapter, and that'll be put up sometime tomorrow, I hope. This just seemed like a good place to end a chapter. I wish there was more content, but there isn't. Read and review. And thank you, all of you who commented on the first chapter! And I'm also sorry I forgot to put something at the bottom telling you it was the first chapter of 3. I'll eventually put the chapters together as soon as I'm done. So that'll be soon. Thanks for your patience! 


	3. Always Alone - Chapter 3 of 3

Akane wasn't sure she could process all of this. Ranma had opened up to her, telling her his problems, his feelings, what he wanted. And now . . . Ranma wanted to be a girl, wanted to be Ranko. And was asking Akane if she wanted to be friends. One of her memories suddenly surfaced, startlingly clear. Akane had blocked it out for a long time, and now it returned with painful clarity. She remembered how she had told Ranma that she was so glad Ranma wasn't a guy. She remembered offering him her friendship. And she remembered withdrawing it as soon as she found out Ranma was really a guy. Not in so many words, but she no longer had a friendly demeanor toward him. Akane remembered how she had said almost the same words Ranma just voiced, and as Ranma found out, how back then the words only had applied to one gender. She could hear the echo of her own voice in the back of her mind. "Hi, I'm Akane, wanna be friends?" She could see the hope in Ranma's eyes, and although back then there was no specific incident that crushed the hope out of him, she knew it was gone all the same. Akane felt horrible at what she'd done, and how badly she'd treated him back then, and nearly started crying right there, in the Dojo, in front of Ranma.  
  
Ranma's, or Ranko's, hand suddenly disappeared from her field of vision, and she heard a voice speak softly, and heard the sadness almost cascading from the sound.  
  
"That's ok. I should've realized you hated me, and it didn't really matter what gender I was. I thought it was maybe cause I was a guy. When I wanted to ask you out to dinner earlier, I thought that it might be because I was a guy, and that maybe being a girl you might like me better. That you might want to be my friend. I guess I was just too blind to see the way that my life is always gonna be, guy or girl." Ranma's voice dropped into a whisper, and Akane could tell that she wasn't supposed to hear the words Ranma spoke next, although she did.  
  
"Always alone."  
  
Akane's shock hadn't quite worn off, and if she had been able to move fast enough, she would've told Ranko that she wouldn't be alone, that she had a friend in Akane, that the incident earlier was just a misunderstanding. That Akane knew how it felt to be alone, because she didn't have a mother, either, and her father wasn't really emotionally there for her. That she loved Ranma as Ranko or as Ranma, and that Akane would always be there for him or her, whatever Ranma's decision would be. But Akane didn't move fast enough. And when Akane looked up, Ranko was gone.  
  
Akane stood up and looked around, wondering where Ranko was, and knowing that she needed to find her, and fast.  
  
"Ranma? Ranma?" Akane yelled as she scrambled up. "Ranma, Ranko, whoever you wanna be! Come back!" Akane screamed for him to come back as she ran out the dojo door and into the house, whipping through the entire first floor in a matter of seconds, and instinctively running up to Ranma's room. She tried the knob, which was locked, and then smashed the door open, expecting him to be there.  
  
He wasn't. But his pack, which had always before sat in the corner, ready to go at a second's notice, was gone too. She stared for about three seconds, then whirled back down the stairs and out the door, not even noticing that the rest of the family wanted to know what was going on. She didn't notice that the snow outside was cold, and that it was freezing her shoeless feet. She didn't notice, and if she had, she wouldn't have cared.  
  
She ran with all her speed down to Ucchan's, and when he wasn't there, left just as fast, moving so fast that Ukyo never even saw her. The Cat Café was devoid of people. Not being able to think of anyplace else he'd go, she ran to Dr.Tofu's for help.  
  
'If I can't find him, Dr.Tofu has to! He just . . . . HAS to!' Akane felt tears streaking her face, and wiped them away. She stopped at the entrance to Dr.Tofu's clinic, out of breath and energy from her exhausting run, and collapsed inside. No one was in the main waiting room, but she heard Dr.Tofu's voice in the back. Akane slowly began to dredge her way to the back room, all of her strength and energy gone. As she got closer, she began to be able to make out the words.  
  
" . . . . what you want to do?" Dr.Tofu's voice, sounding worried, rang out softly. Another voice responded, and Akane gasped, both in surprise and relief, when she realized who it was.  
  
"Yeah, doc. No one 'round here really cares. I used to think that maybe Akane might . . . . if maybe me being a guy hadn't gotten in the way, but that wasn't it, and . . . ." Ranma's voice, most definitely his male side's, broke out in sobs, and Akane began to cry herself. She wanted to yell. 'Of course I care!' but her voice had stopped working.  
  
"It's ok, Ranma," Dr.Tofu's voice was soothing. Ranma sobbed for a minute, while Akane cursed herself for not being able to move quickly, to get back there and comfort him. After the sobbing stopped, she heard Ranma's voice again.  
  
"No, it's not, doc. It's never gonna be okay . . . . don't ya see? I'm in love with Akane, and she hates me. I can't even be her friend as a girl. I gotta leave the love of my life. I've gotta leave and never see her again. I have to spend the rest of my life alone. How is that okay? Tell me how the hell that's ok." Ranma's voice was strained, and it cracked several times. When he was finished talking he broke into low, muffled sobs.  
  
Akane gasped, and nearly collapsed again. 'He . . . he . . . he l-loves me? But . . . how can he love me? . . .' Another voice in the back of her head decided to cut the tirade short, and yelled at her. 'WHO CARES WHY? HE LOVES YOU, YOU LOVE HIM, GET OVER IT!' The voice paused for a moment, and threw in an afterthought. 'AND GET BACK THERE AND HELP HIM OUT!' Akane winced at the volume of . . . herself, and realized that the voice was right. Trembling, Akane forced her legs to be steady, and walked as quickly as she could manage into the back room, where Ranma sat on the floor weeping, head in his hands, while Dr.Tofu looked at her.  
  
"Ranma, I can't tell you how it's going to be okay," Dr.Tofu's voice murmured softly.  
  
He slowly nodded at Akane, then stood and left the room, knowing they needed to be alone for this.  
  
Akane walked over to Ranma, as slowly as ever, and collapsed next to him, crying, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him for all she was worth.  
  
"He may not be able to tell you, but I can. It's gonna be ok, Ranma, cause you don't have to leave."  
  
Ranma looked up at her, startled, the tears in his eyes still falling.  
  
"But I gotta leave. I can't stay here." His voice shook, and his body trembled as well. He looked back at the floor.  
  
"No you don't. Because I want to be your friend, whether you're girl or boy. Because you're a part of my family, and we love you." She took one of her hands and lifted his face so she could see his eyes. "Because you're a part of my heart, and I love you. Don't leave me, Ranma. Don't leave me alone. You may be able to be strong enough to do that, but I can't." Akane's voice failed her as it had earlier, and she waited for a response.  
  
Ranma spoke, trying to make sure this wasn't a dream. "You . . . you don't hate me?"  
  
Akane shook her head. The hope in Ranma's eyes increased, and a smile began to brighten his face.  
  
"You . . . love me?"  
  
Akane nodded with a happy grin. and Ranma slowly moved his face toward hers, their lips meeting in their first kiss. It was soft and tender, and Akane loved every second of it. She parted from him, looking into his eyes, and she could see that he wouldn't be leaving. Not now, not ever.  
  
"So, are you going to be Ranko or Ranma?" Akane asked as Ranma offered her a hand and pulled her up.  
  
"I'm going to be both. And I'm going to be neither. I'm going to be Ranma. A Ranma who laughs, and cries, and is happy and sad. I'm going to be a Ranma who's in love." Ranma smiled as they walked out the door, Dr.Tofu watching them happily.  
  
"Are you going to like it?" Akane asked him.  
  
"I'm going to love every minute of it, as long as I'm with you." he responded as he looked at her. "You'll be with me, whether you want to or not, Ranma," she told him.  
  
"I wouldn't have it any other way," he replied, and kissed her again, both of them warm despite being covered in snowflakes. They pulled apart, and Ranma put his arm around Akane, pulling her close. She smiled at him, arm about his waist.  
  
The snowflakes fell all around in the moonlight, without noise, sparkling in the moonlight. As Ranma and Akane walked back to the place they both knew was home, they knew their lives of being alone were over, and their life of being always together was just beginning.  
  
  
  
FINI  
  
How'd you like it? R+R! I'm sorry I put it into 3 chapters like that, but I wanted some reviews, and some encouragement before I spent too much time on the story. I also needed some time to edit and re-edit the last chapter. A lot of the things in it didn't feel quite right, and although many are fixed, many still need to be messed with until satisfactory. I'll continue to edit it until I feel it's good enough to leave alone. I'll also put the whole thing together into one story once my editing is done. One other thing I'd like to note is that I know this story didn't have too much of a plot to it, and I'm sorry, but this was meant to be a one-shot, and that's what it ended up as. Oh, and one more thing (last one, I promise). I know Ranma and Akane are REALLY Out Of Character, but I needed them to be in order to make this story work right. Thanks.  
  
~Lia-chan~ 


End file.
